![]() ![]() Don’t Interruptįar too often, we tend to interrupt others to give them advice rather than simply listening to what they are processing. When parents demonstrate their interest visually, they make it safe for their teens to talk to them. Responding appropriately with facial expressions, nods, and, when appropriate, a gentle touch of the hand are all visual cues that we are listening to what the other person is saying. This is the most important visual cue that one can give in communication. Eye contact is so important, no matter how difficult it may be to maintain. To practice active listening means that even when we’re not saying anything, we demonstrate that we are actually taking in what’s being said. If the subject is difficult for parents and therefore, they avert eye contact, teens can become uncomfortable as well and not want to share after all. If parents show they’re distracted by tapping their feet or shifting their weight around, that visually tells a teen that they are not focused on them and what they are saying. Demonstrate Interestīody language speaks so much louder than words. When parents silence their phones and set them aside, they demonstrate to their children that they are the most important thing in their world, and they want to hear whatever they have to say. Parents always complain that kids are on their devices all the time, but parents are guilty of this, too. But even then, when something is really important, parents can stop and focus on their teens with undivided attention. Sometimes the best conversations happen while driving or doing an activity or chore together. When parents are talking with teens, they should remove as many distractions as possible. Moreover, parents are often busy and distracted by checking their phones, making dinner, managing other children, and handling work or household tasks. One of the biggest complaints that teens have about their parents is “You never listen to me!” Even when parents can recite word for word what their teens said, they haven’t always received the message or the deeper meaning. Here are five ways to be an active listener for your teen: 1. When parents take the time to actively listen, rather than thinking about their next response or trying to compose sage wisdom to share, they may be surprised by what teens actually do want to share. Teens are not always going to speak openly about their challenges and problems, especially when they may not even realize they are problems yet. Parents of teenagers can gain clues every day about what is going on in their children’s lives-but you have to listen to your teen. ![]() Developing this skill is particularly important for parents of teens. ![]() That step is what takes us from simply hearing to then being an active listener. We listen to other people all the time, but how often do we really pause and tune in to what they’re saying? There’s a big difference between processing information and truly listening with our minds and hearts. ![]()
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